Thoughts ...

I've been feeling rather down lately...indeed when one is sick and vulnerable, you start to feel victimised and perhaps start counting all the unhappiness in your life.

I have a problem. I made a choice recently and I'm starting to wonder if I made the right choice. Indeed, growing up is not easy. Cos you got to make your own decisions and whether good or bad, got to stick by it and be responsible for it.

I really hope and pray that things can only get better. I thank God for the wonderful friends and family members HE has planted in my life, so that even when I meet difficult people or situations, they are always there to encourage and support me.

I need to count my blessings and pray for God to be in control....I'm sure God has a positive plan for me, I just need to be patient.....

My first surgery ...

It was a day surgery at SGH today to remove the sebaceous cyst. I was quite disturbed by this foreign growth at the back of my ear and wanted to remove it as soon as I recovered from dengue.

To my surprise, it was more elaborate than I expected. I had to put on surgery gown and the shower cap look-a-like. I also had to remove all accessories and put on an electrical pad at on my back.

I was made to lie down at the operating theatre awaiting for the surgeon with 2 nurses. They had to sterilise everything and also their hands etc and put on those operating gowns etc.

When the surgeon arrived, he applied anesthetic on the back of my ear to make me feel numb during the surgery. The only pain i felt there and then was the injection of the anesthesia. Thereafter, I can hear everything so clearly. I can hear and sense the surgeon cutting up the cyst, blood ozzing, and also the stitching and some drainage sounds.

I was so frightened that I was practically trembling all over. They covered my view so that the bright operating lights will not shine on me. I just kept praying in my heart that everything will be smooth and will soon be over.

I was told before the op by several nurses that my doctor is a very experienced one. I'm glad he was quick with the op. The whole procedure took less than an hour.

After the anesthesia wore off, i can feel the pain. I am going to have a hard time keeping the dressing clean and dry. I also felt weak after losing so much blood. Sad to say, I've got 3 days of MC. Good for me to rest but its really bad to be absent from work again. I hope to go back sooner than these 3 days. Hope the pain will subside soon.

Meanwhile, this remains as the most scary and only procedure I had at the hospital so far. Will have to go back to remove the stitches in a weeks' time. Looking back, I think I was really brave to go to the hospital alone to have the surgery done. No one could accompany me, to give me moral support unfortunately. I also had to make my way home alone thereafter. I'm glad I was able to pray throughout the op. Indeed, God gave me strength to go through this.

Hope to be totally well after this. No more sickness, so that I can fully concentrate on work, house reno and wedding plans thereafter .....

Full of worries and anxiety

I've had 12 days MC due to Dengue and due to go back to work tomorrow. On one hand, I am glad I am finally well enough to go back to work and contribute to the team. On the other hand, i feel a sense of loss having been on MC for so long. What's more, I was only barely a mth into the new job. I am still so new to the job and yet on MC for so long. The sense of guilt and worry just dawned on me. Plus, not sure if i can get the full understanding from my boss and colleagues - that i really didn't mean to fall sick and for so long!

Worse still, I am due to go to SGH for a minor surgery for the removal of the cyst on the back of my ear. May need to take MC again! I feel so scared to tell my boss that tomorrow!

Dear God...

I pray for favour of my boss and teammates, that they will understand for my absence from work. I pray for speedy and total healing of all illnesses and free from pain for the removal of the cyst. Please watch over me, that I may be healthy and not have to take MC for a long, long time. Holy spirit, be with me so that I can shine for Jesus at work! AMEN!

From the counter on my blog, can see that our wedding is just over 6 mths away...we are starting to be a little more involved with the planning. I just went for my first gown selection appointment yesterday....totally disappointed. What the salesperson promised was far from what it was in reality. There seems to be so much to do for the planning of the wedding and many a times, i feel so stucked. Its so tiring to juggle so many things together ... I just dream of a smooth wedding day that is fairy-tale like =)

Plaqued by D.E.N.G.U.E

I always thought Dengue is something far far away...that it will never strike on me. I was wrong! I had been plaqued by Dengue since Oct 3.


It all started that afternoon in office on Oct 3 where i felt exceptionally cold, and then I had a headache that got worse. By evening when I met my ex-colleagues for dinner, I felt feverish and had to rush home. I was queueing for a cab and could feel shivers down my body. My legs grew wobbly and I couldn't even stood up.


The minute i got home, i was in bed, I felt so sick I couldn't even take off my contact lenses! I beared with the fever till the next morning before I visited the doctor's. Temp was 39.4 degree celsius. In fact, it was hovering around there for the next 1 week.


The fever did not subside by Saturday so my parents brought me to A&E at Tan Tock Seng. I was on drip for 2 hours. Was a little better by that afternoon. But, that was short-lived. The fever came back.

I had no appetite and kept feeling nauseous. In fact, i threw up a few times. Other symptoms included rashes, feeling dizzy and bloodstain in my urine.

I had to go to CDC at TTSH for 3 days in a row thereafter to take my blood tests, just to make sure my platelet count doesn't fall below 50, else i got to be hospitalised. It fell to 81 before rising again. Thank God, i need not be hospitalised.

I'm almost well now, save for the rashes on my legs and ocassional dizzy spells. The entire experience was horrible. I was practically bed-ridden for about 8 days and I took so many blood tests till my hands were all filled with blue-black marks.

Really thank God i have my family members and Shian who took turns to take care of me...else I wouldn't recover so soon!

I'm now a little phobic of mosquitos already ...